Me & Mine - August

This August has been one of the hardest months of our marriage so far. We started August 2015 together, surrounded by family well wishing our new adventure. As My Handsome Man's university start date loomed nearer, my anxiety grew - my visa application remained in what seems like the eternal state of 'processing'. The night before he was to fly, there was no sight of my visa and I write this now with him in Vancouver beginning his school year and me in England still anxiously waiting.

He has only been gone a week. That really doesn't sound like a long time. We have been apart for longer than that in the past, but this time is so much harder. It is more difficult because we don't have a set date of when we will see each other again, in that sense there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no countdown to being reunited as my flight isn't booked yet.

I realise that this time apart would be more difficult without technology, granted there might be fewer late nights and early morning starts but there would also be no Skype or FaceTime catchups and no watching GBBO together on the opposite sides of the world.

In the few days he was recovering from jet lag and waiting for school to start, he wanted to explore but felt weird doing so without me exploring with him. In the week he has been gone there have been a few events that normally we would attend together and I felt weirdly incomplete without him by my side.

In a way, I am grateful for how I am feeling because it shows we are doing something right. I chose this man for the rest of my existence and I do not want the type of marriage where I do not miss him when he is away.

I want to wake up and have him snuggle in to my shoulder for cuddles.

I want to be able to hug away the difficult days.

I want to feel like we are complete together because I can not imagine my life without him.